Does anyone have any Funny Jokes??
The Best one will get 10 points!
:)
The Best one will get 10 points!
:)
Answer
boyfriend and girlfriend got into an accident. the girlfriend needed blood transfusion and the boyfriend donated. a year later they broke up and the boyfriend had a fuss and told the girl to pay him back for his blood. the following month the exboyfriend got a package in the mail from the exgirlfriend. he opened it and it was a used pad and a note saying, "i'll be paying you back monthly, so here's my first payment."
Answer2
A college student, Mike, is hanging out with his buddy Joe, at a bar. After a few rounds, the two decide to call it a day. "Are you sure you can drive?" Joe asks Mike, to which he replies, "Yeah, I'm an excellent driver when I'm drunk." So the two drive off, and after driving for a few blocks, Mike accidentally hits a girl walking a dog, Joe flies through the window and his car is totalled. So Mike gets out of the car, looks at the girl, and realizes its his girlfriend who was walking Mike's dog. She's dead. Then he hears Joe from behind him whisper in a dying voice, "Mike, come here." So, slowly Mike shuffles over to his bloody friend, and, holding him in his cut up arms, says "Yeah, Joe?"
"Mike," Joe replies, "I have AIDs. And now you do too."
that or:
Whats the difference between a porcupine and a luxory car? For the car, the pricks are on the inside.
"Mike," Joe replies, "I have AIDs. And now you do too."
that or:
Whats the difference between a porcupine and a luxory car? For the car, the pricks are on the inside.
Answer3
A successful businessman flew to Vegas for the weekend to gamble.
He lost the shirt off his back, and had nothing left but a quarter and the second half of his round trip ticket. If he could just get to the airport he could get himself home.
So he went out to the front of the casino where there was a cab waiting. He got in and explained his situation to the cabbie. He promised to send the driver money from home, he offered him his credit card numbers, his drivers license number, his address, etc, but to no avail.
The cabbie said "If you don't have fifteen dollars, get the hell out of my cab!"
So the businessman was forced to hitch-hike to the airport and was barely in time to catch his flight.
One year later the businessman, having worked long and hard to regain his financial success, returned to Vegas and this time he won big. Feeling pretty good about himself, he went out to the front of the casino to get a cab ride back to the airport.
Well who should he see out there, at the end of a long line of cabs, but his old buddy who had refused to give him a ride when he was down on his luck.
The businessman thought for a moment about how he could make the guy pay for his lack of charity, and he hit on a plan.
The businessman got in the first cab in the line, "How much for a ride to the airport," he asked?
"Fifteen bucks," came the reply.
"And how much for you to give me a ******* on the way?"
"What?! Get the hell out of my cab."
The businessman got into the back of each cab in the long line and asked the same questions, with the same result.
When he got to his old friend at the back of the line, he got in and asked "How much for a ride to the airport?"
The cabbie replied "fifteen bucks."
The businessman said "ok" and off they went.
Then, as they drove slowly past the long line of cabs the businessman gave a big smile and thumbs up sign to each driver.
He lost the shirt off his back, and had nothing left but a quarter and the second half of his round trip ticket. If he could just get to the airport he could get himself home.
So he went out to the front of the casino where there was a cab waiting. He got in and explained his situation to the cabbie. He promised to send the driver money from home, he offered him his credit card numbers, his drivers license number, his address, etc, but to no avail.
The cabbie said "If you don't have fifteen dollars, get the hell out of my cab!"
So the businessman was forced to hitch-hike to the airport and was barely in time to catch his flight.
One year later the businessman, having worked long and hard to regain his financial success, returned to Vegas and this time he won big. Feeling pretty good about himself, he went out to the front of the casino to get a cab ride back to the airport.
Well who should he see out there, at the end of a long line of cabs, but his old buddy who had refused to give him a ride when he was down on his luck.
The businessman thought for a moment about how he could make the guy pay for his lack of charity, and he hit on a plan.
The businessman got in the first cab in the line, "How much for a ride to the airport," he asked?
"Fifteen bucks," came the reply.
"And how much for you to give me a ******* on the way?"
"What?! Get the hell out of my cab."
The businessman got into the back of each cab in the long line and asked the same questions, with the same result.
When he got to his old friend at the back of the line, he got in and asked "How much for a ride to the airport?"
The cabbie replied "fifteen bucks."
The businessman said "ok" and off they went.
Then, as they drove slowly past the long line of cabs the businessman gave a big smile and thumbs up sign to each driver.
Answer4
A boy is at the carnival and walks up to a game stand where you will win stuffed animals if you win.
The man behind the counter says, ''If i write your exact weight on this piece of paper, you have to give me 50 dollars.'' The boy looks around and see's no scales or anything, so he agrees. The man writes down the words ''your exact weight'' on the paper and the boy gets conned for 50 bucks!
The man behind the counter says, ''If i write your exact weight on this piece of paper, you have to give me 50 dollars.'' The boy looks around and see's no scales or anything, so he agrees. The man writes down the words ''your exact weight'' on the paper and the boy gets conned for 50 bucks!
Answer5
2 prostitutes. One says, 'Have you ever been picked up by the fuzz?.'
The other replies, 'No, But I have been swung around by the t1ts a couple of times'
What do you call a prostitute with no arms or legs?
A) Cash and Carry
What do you call a Russian prostitute?
A) KnickersOnandOff
What do you call a chinese prostitiute?
A) Fu Kin Cow
The other replies, 'No, But I have been swung around by the t1ts a couple of times'
What do you call a prostitute with no arms or legs?
A) Cash and Carry
What do you call a Russian prostitute?
A) KnickersOnandOff
What do you call a chinese prostitiute?
A) Fu Kin Cow
Answer6
Tony: So where are you from?
Gordon: Scotland.
Tony: Which part?
Gordon: All of me!
Gordon: Scotland.
Tony: Which part?
Gordon: All of me!
Answer7
No... but I bet you do!
Answer8
did you hear about the irishman who thought sheffield wednesday was a bank holiday
Answer9
Why is maths book so unhappy?
Answer : Coz it is full of problems.
Answer : Coz it is full of problems.
Answer10
what did the elephant say to the naked man.
answer, "can you breath through that"
answer, "can you breath through that"
Answer11
My doctor reckons i'm paranoid.
He didn't say it, but i know he's thinking it.
He didn't say it, but i know he's thinking it.
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